6 Underground a Shallow Grave with no Feet

For better or for worse and despite which actors may lead any given Michael Bay movie, the star of these films are always Michael Bay. The actors are just largely window dressing for Bay’s bombast and preposterous action. 6 Underground also stars Ryan Reynolds as “One,” but even his considerable talents for wisecracks and takes is all but lost amid Bay’s hyper-kinetic style. The screenplay is surprisingly confused considering it is written by the creative team (Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese) who wrote both Deadpool films. Couple that confusion with Bay’s cacophonous film-making and 6 Underground is a hot loud mess, which is really nothing new for him.

The flashbacks and quick cuts begin from the get-go with some flashback to an apparent spy mission gone wrong. Blood spatters everywhere in their getaway car as “Two” (Melanie Laurent) an ex-CIA operative with a French accent is worked on by the teams “Dr.,” known as “Five” played by Adria Arjona. Dave Franco as “Six” is the getaway driver speeding through Florence, Italy in between a few flashbacks (flashbacks with a flashback) showing a little of what led to the mission going wrong. Both
“Three” and “Four,” played respectively by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo (Magnificent Seven) and Ben Hardy (Angel from X-Men Apocalypse) are positioned elsewhere as lookouts and backup firepower.

This mission gone wrong ends in the death of “Six” and so soon after “One” is out recruiting a new member of the team, an ex-Sniper for the military who “One” dubs “Seven.” This recruitment scene is just one example of the bad writing coming from the otherwise crackerjack team of Wernick and Reese. The former military sniper (also known as Blaine) reminisces about his own involvement in a military mission gone wrong where he called the oncoming tragedy but was denied permission to shoot and kill the oncoming terrorists. While he sits in his home contemplating the bullet he holds between his fingers he hears “One” standing on the patio outside tell him that he would have let him take the shot.

Blaine (Soon to be “Seven”) grabs his gun and goes to the patio door to see the bottom half of Ryan Reynolds standing on that patio. “One” repeats what he just said, and then informs Blaine he had access to that call but not to ask him how he got that information. With that, and now completely visible to Blaine, “One” asks him if he can come inside. Inexplicably and with little information on who “One” is, Blaine invites him in and is then easily recruited. Apparently the filmmakers were in a hurry to get all this expository stuff over and done with with the minimal of sense.

Throughout this we have learned that “One” has faked his own death, and then recruited his team of five other members to fake their deaths so they are essentially “ghosts.” Apparently being officially dead frees them up to interfere with other nations and instigate coup d’états all in the name of the greater good. Something about being off the grid that frees these vigilantes from the standard restraints of the rule of law and the murkier international law. Vigilantes are generally morally and ethically compromised people taking justice into their own hands, but with the advent of superhero movies it seems everyone wants to get in on the act.

While the 6 underground are not technically superheroes like in the comic books and the movies inspired by them, they are certainly comic book versions of people who likely don’t exist. Just because they’re not superheroes doesn’t mean they can’t fight like them with implausibly mad skills. These wanna be superheroes have, from the very beginning of the movie, caused what looks like the deaths of countless innocent bystanders in their pursuit of the greater good, but hey, that’s collateral damage for you.

Of course, and naturally, the coup d’état of a fictional nation is because the mad tyrant in charge has been using weapons of mass destruction upon his own people in order to instill fear and compliance. See? Our vigilante’s have no other choice but to do what apparently other nations will not do, and thankfully it only takes six of them to do it. Well, that and a considerable amount of money thanks to “One’s” super cool invention of super magnets, which play into an action piece that would have actually been super cool if it weren’t done so much it becomes tedious.

Maybe it’s too much to expect better from Michael Bay, although it wasn’t too much to expect better from Wernick and Reese. Micheal Bay is going to Bay and even when he’s engaged in maximum Bay to the nth degree, it is still a mildly entertaining and altogether forgettable movie to while the time away.